Toes & Tears.

Three days. It took me THREE DAYS to write this post. Someone who is bed-ridden shouldn’t have much else to do… Right? Wrong. I have been extremely busy… Sleeping.

“Wake me for food and company” is the proverbial post-it note loosely adhered to my forehead. Today my aunt came home early and decided that she would take me to get my nails done. Bless her. So, quick as a flash, I was up. Slipped into a sassy summer dress and some sandals. It only took 45 minutes this time. A new personal best! (Not sarcastic).

With the grace and poise of the queen, I entered my kingdom. The pedicure chair: my thrown, the nail technicians: my handmaidens. One by one, the ladies removed the fire engine polish from my tiny little toes and it took all of my crow’s feet to hold back the tears.

The nailbeds of my bare toes resembled the dark swirling clouds in my nightmares. A sobering reminder that I am too weak to subconsciously lift my feet high enough when walking up stairs. Lift, bang, ouch. Lift, bang, ouch. I walked past the dining room this evening and noticed that my family no longer eagle-eye me when I walk – is this the new normal? (Deeply exhales).

I received my neck and brain CT scan results on Monday. All the major arteries and vessels are A-OK. I was elated, for a second. Then my doctors put their blind folds on, spun around three times and took a shot at the dartboard. Pericarditis caused by a virus I suffered 3 weeks ago. “Might also explain the exhaustion and weakness. Take this. If that doesn’t work, see me next week.” Good sh*t doc.

Restless,

Kim. xo

Ps. I chose turquoise polish today – in case you were wondering.

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